Conclusion

As some may know these 20 blog entries were for an assignment in my English 150 class. At first I thought that it could just be somewhere to put some random things on and not care at all about them. This was quite contrary to what actually happened, the things that I posted seemed to almost be part of me, sort of like what i put up was a little view into the way I think about things. At the beginning I chose the title, "The Way I Think" at first this was just because it was all that I could think of, but in the end, this blog stayed true to its name. This blog is actually the way that i think about things, everything actually. Doing this blog I have learned more about myself then I every thought possible. I learned how I feel about things, how I handle situations, my time management skills, and many other things. For all of you that read this I think that I might keep doing this blog in hopes to learn more about the person that I am, seeing as it has helped me discover myself. At first I just thought of this as some assignment to add to the old "to do" list. Instead of just some hobby it has become a hobby, something that i look forward to doing. This is a place that i can come and just post whatever i think about. I know that I have no idea who is reading this, nor do i really care who is or who isn't. This has become a place for me to come and just be me, whatever I feel like being at the time, whether it be someone searching for an answer, or a person that is giving advice, or even someone who types whatever I feel about a certain subject. None of the things that I have been matters, the only thing that matter is that I don't stop learning. This blog has shown me how to do just that, to just keep learning.

A Changing World

As I look back at myself, I don't see the same person that I saw four months ago back in Arizona. I see a guy who knows what he wants from life. I see a guy who doesn't need help deciding what to do anymore. I see a guy that has grown from a boy into a man. This adventure of a semester has changed me forever. I no longer look for my parents advice in everything. I no longer look for my friends to help me escape from trouble, instead I take responsibility for the things that I have done. I no longer go through my day in hopes that something good can happen, but instead I make something good happen. I know in past blogs there was always some big profound topic that I have some insight on, bu tin this one I just decided to take a look at myself and see what I have become. The people who say that you change the most when your 18 to 22 are right. I have seen myself grow more in these last four months than I have my entire life. As I look to the future, I can only wonder what it can hold for me. What great adventures I will be able to go on. To me life is just a bunch of stories, and I always liked the old people who had a lot of stories to tell, so i will see if i can be one of those people.

The End in Sight

As the semester comes to an end the excitement of going home becomes even greater. Thoughts of the journey as a whole come together to form a kaleidoscope of memories, new friends, lots of cute girls, leaving family, looking to people for support. As you think about these things remember to think about the biggest thing, which is what am I doing here and why am I here. If you don't know why you are here at college, at your job, with your family, then I think its time to rethink your plan. If college is not right for you, then get a job. If you can't stand your family anymore then move out. If you can't bear another day at your job, then quit, and find another job. No matter what stage in life you are in it's not too late to be happy. Even if you have all the things that you could ever want, if you are not happy then what is the point in staying with what you are doing. The biggest thing for you to do is to be happy, no matter what that is, some people like school, others do not, its not for everyone. At this time it is important for you to look at yourself in the mirror and ask, is this what I want to be, am I happy with the person that is looking back at me. If the answer is no, then I think it's time to change something.

Forgiveness

If someone says something or does something to offend you, how should it be handled. I know that in the church we are told to forgive everyone no matter what. This however is very hard to do because it is your emotions and many times it is felt that whoever offended you deserves the same done to them as they did to you. What if they lie to you or cheat to make you feel bad or anything, when is it alright to not let something go. Again I know that we are instructed to forgive anybody no matter what they do, but sometimes this is just too difficult. Maybe someone can't forgive but all they can do is remember and be bitter about the event that took place. This is not good for you and the one that did it to you. For you it is bad because you use extra energy to be mad about what happened instead of focusing on what is important. It is bad for the person who did it because they might not know that they did it, and if they are anything like me then they would want to know what they did so they can know what not to do anymore. If you read this can you please leave me a comment on what you think because this one is a subject that is really bothering me for some reason, so let me know what you think.

English

My perspective on English has really changed this semester, I came here actually not liking it at all. I thought that the class was pointless and that i didn't need it at all. During this class I learned that English is not dumb or pointless or boring, but instead it is fun i like going to English and I feel as though English is actually my best class. I think this is because my professor did a really good job at showing us how to write and how to look at things in a way that I had never thought of before. I feel as though I have become a much better writer then I was a semester ago, and I feel as though i could get even better in the years to come if I focus on what I have learned this semester. i think that this will be the first English class that i will actually sincerely miss. I have always said that i will miss the class and the people there which are true, but never have i actually thought that i will miss the class itself. This was a class that i could go to and see friends, my professor was great, she made us feel like we were cared about, and this was a class that i knew that no one would judge me in. Instead i knew that i could go to people in the class and i felt like they would help me instead of criticizing me for writing poorly or not having the strongest voice. I will say it once more, this English class will be the class that i will miss the most from this semester.

Finals

A big thing that has been on my mind lately has been finals, how they work, how hard they are, and what I need to study for these said finals. Here at school you go to class all semester to try to do the best you can on all your finals. The down side of these tests is that it is impossible to know what to focus on. People can say to study everything from the semester, but then you spend the last couple of weeks stressing about doing this because you are trying to relearn everything from all your classes. This takes much effort and a lot of the time that is valued so much in college. I think I may have come up with some solutions to this predicament. One way to beat this is to try to find a study partner, if they are in the same class then that is great because then they are worrying about the same things. The big thing about this would be to make sure that you are focusing instead of just talking about whatever comes up. Another way to beat the stress is during the year take good notes, and look over those notes regularly. If you do this then you are actually studying all semester instead of trying to cram everything in at the last minute. Also in this way when it comes to that final studying time then it is more refreshing rather then relearning the material. Another way to beat the final stress is to go see the TA's if they have a review session the that is great, usually they have bee able to look at past tests and they know what you will be tested on. Also they usually have taken the class before so they know what to expect on the final so look to them for advice on what to do. As for myself I am going to do all of these and hey maybe ill do great on all my tests this semester.

Christmas

As the semester is coming to a close the big thing on my mind is going home for Christmas. I think how it will be because I know being in the same old house wont bring the same old feeling. However depressing this is it is still exciting to see my family and to visit the friends I left behind to come here. Here in Utah it is cold and snowy it will be a change to go back to the weather back in Arizona where today on December 7 the temperature is a nice 50 degrees, so no more freezing all the time but it will be nice all day. The biggest thing for me is going to be able to just relax and not have to stress about anything like homework or tests or studying or any of the things that i stress about here. I am lucky that back home my boss let me keep my job so I have the opportunity to go back and earn a couple hundred dollars for next semester because right now I need all the help with money that i can get.The only downside to this year's Christmas is that my grandmother wont be able to make it, but at least i will be able to see her when I go through the temple when i get my mission call. Now all I have to do is make it through finals next week and I will be great.

Service

Why is it that everytime I do service I always get this good feeling inside. This feeling is the reason that I like doing service so much. This semester I had an assignment to to 10 hours of service for my American Heritage class. The service that i chose was tutoring 3rd graders in math, I figured that i could help them with math because I was always good in math. During this tutoring thing I think that I might have learned more then the kids that i was tutoring did. I learned that teaching is more then just showing how to do things, but it is doing it in a way that the person trying to learn can understand. I finally understand the difficulties that come along with teaching in general. One problem that comes up is you might understand something perfectly and you will try to explain it to someone and they will have no idea what you are talking about. This is because everyone learns differently, and the way that you remember it might not be that good for someone else. Overall in this tutoring opportunity i learned that whenever you are working with other people it is important to remember to be patient and don't give up on them.

SNOW

Being from Arizona as you can imagine, I don't get much snow. Since I have been here in Utah for school I was actually expecting there to be snow earlier in the year. Instead it took all the way to December for the snow to finally come. This first snow fall was quite exciting for me, it is just how I imagined it since I was a little boy, well at least the powder is. I hope that it stays as magical as it is now, but I am sure that sooner or later the snow will become one of those plain things that i see everyday, and hey, maybe this year it will actually a big deal when spring comes. Usually back home people don't like spring much because it only means that it will get hot soon. Here spring will be a different story, things will start growing again and the winter wonderland will give way to beautiful spring flowers. We will all have to see how I fare this first winter with snow, will I sink or swim, only time will tell.

To be or not to Be

This semester one of the things that I have learned is when to do things and when not to do things. There is a certain time and place for everything. Sometimes it can be annoying when someone around you is being very obnoxious by being loud when you should be quiet or saying things that should just be said around the guys around the girls. I one does not have a perception of when to do and not to do then they can become very embarrassed very quickly. Luckily I already knew about this principle when I came here, but I have been around people who don't, and it always comes quite awkward around them. Basically what I am trying to say is be aware of what is happening around you and don't step over those uncrossable social lines, if you don't then you should be fine.

Weekends

This last weekend was about the same as the last few that I have had. I go into the weekend with ambition of getting many things done in an attempt to catch up in my classes. Then Saturday comes and i don't do anything because I always tell myself that I will do it later, but this later never comes. I end up not doing anything on Saturday and then i look to Sunday to try to redeem myself in this work less weekend. Sunday comes and i wake up for church go to church and then come home, and by this time its 4:00 and I'm hungry so i eat. After this me and my roommates just hang out, and again i don't get anything done. Then it comes down to what i am doing now, trying to get as much done as i can at 11:30 at night in hopes that i can achieve something. I don't know how this always happens but it does. I think that maybe i should stop having the I'll do it later attitude and then maybe I'll get something done.

Pranking

This last week my apartment was pranked, some girls came in and put marshmallows all over the place. The question i want to know is when is pranking gone too far, is it when someone gets offended or is it never okay or is i too far when some of the property in the apartment gets vandalized. This is what happened in this case, in their good fun of littering our walls with the marshmallows the culprits stuck some of the marshmallows on a few 0f the posters that we have hanging in our kitchen. As a result of this those posters are now ruined because when we took the marshmallows off the posters tore where they were and the ink that was there is now gone. I ask again when has pranking gone too far, for me this was too far, my personal property was damaged and now we have more to clean for the cleaning check on Monday.

Time Management

This semester at college i have started to develop a skill that has proven more difficult to learn then i thought, this skill is time management. See when i came here i was a scared 18-year-old that had never had to do much for himself, mom bought grocery shopping and kept the house looking decent, the only thing that i had to do was to do my homework and that was it. Now that i am here there is no mom so now i have to keep my apartment looking decent and the shopping, i also have to wake myself up for class and stress about homework on top of everything else. I have found while I have been here that doing all these is a lot more challenging then i had ever imagined, if too much time is spent on one thing then the others don't get done, so I now have to balance my time, which at first was hard but it has seemed to get easier as the semester chugged toward the end. I have set up a system for myself which allots time to everyone of my tasks, think of it like a routine that gives time to get house work done and grocery shopping and also the dreaded homework. This system seems to work for me so i thing that i will keep doing it, now just to put more time in to study, talk to all you later.

Home Sick

Over this Thanksgiving break I was stuck here, there was no going home to see my family, no long awaited reunion, not even staying at a family members house for the weekend. I was stuck here in the same old apartment. I was able to think a lot this weekend about what I am doing here why I am here and what I need to be doing here. This, however boring it was, was a good time to sit back and reflect on what I am doing and what I need to do to get where I want to be. While I was thinking I realized how much I miss my family back home, everyone seemed so happy to be able to go home and see theirs, but i wasn't so fortunate. I was here with my picture of my family, pretending that I am at the dinner table with our nightly dinner conversations with the oddest topics. Missing the times when I would go talk to my mom just because I'm having a bad day or a good day or just any day at all. I miss always having someone who always wants to be like me, even if he is an annoying little brother. I miss having the responsibility of looking out for the bad guys for my little sister, and beating the guys that make her sad. It is here in my apartment that I realized what matters most. I realized that the reason to be here is to make my family proud, and anything that I do that would disappoint them would be the biggest mistake that I could make here.

Procrastination

So i have been thinking lately about why so many people wait until the last minute to get things done, these things can be anything from homework to studying to setting up appointments. I have come to the conclusion that people must love stress, this is because i have noticed that no matter how early things get done there always seems to be more to do and this more stress. In dealing with this I have noticed that many people tend o leave all these stress inhibitors to the last minute before dealing with them in an attempt to be stress free in the time leading up to the dreaded stress marathon.

In my college experience i have started doing this because i noticed no matter how much i get done, there always seems to be more that need to be done. Why not wait till the last minute, i know this is a bad strategy but hey it seems to be working so why not fall behind to catch up, without procrastination there would be no falling behind as there would be no getting ahead, it would just be keeping up.